Since we never know how I will feel from one day to the next, much less far enough out to completely plan a weekend or get-away, we do what we can when we can.

That being said, over the years we have come to a mutual agreement on activities and how we rank them in relation to how I feel. It’s really neat actually, it was our unspoken understanding until I started trying to write this post and found how much we agreed on each activity as we discussed how we make plans.

I’m truly blessed by such a good man that always has my best interest in mind!

He truly lives out Ephesians 4:2-3 (AMP) in our friendship and in our marriage to make sure we, as a whole, are successful!

…with all humility [forsaking self-righteousness], and gentleness [maintaining self-control], with patience, bearing with one another in [unselfish] love. Make every effort to keep the oneness of the Spirit in the bond of peace [each individual working otgether to make the whole successful].

So, we usually have Plan A, B & C.

Plan A –

usually comprises of an activity(s) that require either more energy or stamina, or both. These are the “oh, yeah I feel almost normal. Let’s go, I can sleep when I’m dead, this is so going to be worth the exhaustion tomorrow.”

A levels come far and few in between. It’s honestly been years since we’ve ran a Plan A and I not pay for it for days afterwards in some shape or form. I also require the most amount of time to recoup these plans, usually.

This is reserved for –

• Is the pain worth the gain?
• Is this memory and experience worth it?
• Will I regret not having this memory or experience made with hubby?

Plan B –

consists of the medium road. That “oh yeah I want to do something but I know if I’m not careful I will definitely pay for it later, may even feel it during our plans bringing us to a cancellation or halt. I know I couldn’t last through a Plan A but I’m definitely not wanting to sit on the couch with a Plan C.”

Level B’s come more often than A’s and this is where I mostly ride the line of my life. I don’t mind too much really; I’m getting used to it personally. I time-block my days to steal minutes of naps and rest here and there leading up to the plans and I usually crash out during the week after these plans and require massive hours of rest to recoup if I try having too many Plan B’s too close together or just push myself too hard or throw in there a Plan A.

Plan C –

This one is for when I’ve used up my energy, don’t have much left, and/or when I know the consequences are not worth the effort and we won’t even enjoy ourselves.

Plan C’s are my go-to for that recoup period after Plan A’s and B’s once my body isn’t sleeping while standing or in the middle of eating. Even though the exhaustion makes thinking nearly impossible and focus a joke, sleeping doesn’t always happen either. As badly as I can lay there wanting to sleep, it’s a 5 minutes sleep, 10 minutes awake, 15 minutes asleep, 5 minutes awake kind of pattern that can literally go on all afternoon and all night. So I find sometimes forcing myself to have a Plan C will allow me to sleep better or at least longer time blocks. Or at least I don’t lay there crying because I’m so exhausted but can’t sleep. Feels like more of a choice than an obligation to tolerate.

Keep in mind:

So, now that I’ve explained my own personal way of rating dates/plans let’s address these levels.

Everyone is different and everyone’s condition/chronic illness is different.

You may have no such thing as a Plan A in your life, or you may live life more on the Plan A side and seldom have to visit Plan C.

Each activity will fall under different Plans for everyone as well so I would just use this as a guide when you’re thinking of plans and evaluating your own scale.

Also, if you’re reading this as a friend, family member, or spouse of someone with chronic illness or Lupus keep this in mind and use it to talk with that person to understand further their scale and things you can do to help them where they are while still making memories together!

Connective Tissue Disease and all my other ailments don’t make me quit life or give up on living life, they just make me rethink the way I do life. Which also makes people who care about me and want me in their life rethink how they do life with me. Trust me, we still do life and have fun together!

21 Date Ideas and how I personally evaluate each adventure in relation to my chronic illness:

1.  Miniature Golf –

A, B & sometimes C once I’m on the back end of the flare and beginning to function again, it’s a good way to get out of the house and it’s not strenuous. My hubby and friends also make me laugh a lot and I’ll sit on the ground to hit my balls if I must lol

2. Picnic –

A, B, & C – If it’s C it’s more work on hubby.

He preps, carries me, sets it up, sometimes feeds me lol (romantic LOL), packs it all up, cleans up, helps me back home/inside. I have been known to fall asleep on the blanket and we just sit together.

He’ll listen to his Bible app or play a game on his phone while I sleep in his lap. The fresh air is nice, and it gets me off the couch and out of the bed while allowing me to relax still.

3.  Range-date –

Definitely A and B if the weather isn’t overly draining. We don’t do timed or changing positions or anything strenuous if it’s a low B plan.

Our range date is really long range and challenging targets, not as fun when I’m shaky or my eyes won’t focus, so this generally is a Plan A or a good Plan B. I also don’t participate in shooting when I’m close to Plan C because safety comes first.

The great thing is if I’m not feeling it that day, we always have a .22 with us or light rifle I can shoot a little so I’m not left out and hubby doesn’t feel bad then I take pictures, videos, and tease him about how I would whoop his but if I was at 70% right now lol he makes it fun for me.

4. Small target plinking –

.22 rifle or BB gun and small gong targets, clays, bottles, fruit, or paper target games like battleship, golf course, and tic-tac-toe.

Again, Plan A & B. If I get tired or don’t feel well I end up sleeping in the truck, relaxing on a blanket or playing a game on my phone or with cards while hubby shoots, which is fine too! I might also take pictures or video some things as well.

5.  Bowling –

Plan A mainly. Bowling, I find, to be more strenuous, especially on my hands, than shooting and definitely feel it the next day.

Did I mention I practically granny roll?? Yep, I don’t try to walk and swing and scoop and drop and whatever else the pros do.

I literally just try to roll the ball without breaking a finger or wrist and it not get stuck on the lane lol

6.  Pool –

Plan A or B…sometimes C. I typically have fun shooting pool even on days I don’t feel that great because I can sit between shots and I don’t feel it too bad the next day as long as I didn’t stay up too late and was able to rest that night.

7.  Swimming hole/River –

Plan A, B & sometimes C. A and B we might play a little volleyball which I can do for a short time. If I’m in plan C or hit C status while there I can always just sit and float or relax in the water and find a way to be comfortable or I’ll lay down on the ground under a tree or canopy and nap lol

Plus, we always grill out with friends or family and that’s some really good, healthy food and memories I’m not going to miss unless I need to be in bed!

8.  Canoeing –

Plan A or B. If we’re in a canoe together it’s ok if I get tired and can’t paddle anymore. But if I’m in my own canoe that’s not the best thing. I do get tired easier with this activity so I try to make sure I have a good amount of energy that day and lowered pain and stiffness to make sure I don’t wipe myself out or create an uncomfortable situation for hubby towing me back in (been there done that…I bring a rope with me every time now)

9.  Paddle-boarding –

Plan A or B depending on currents, time of day, etc. Very similar to canoeing. (he has tied my board to his and I laid down and slept while he paddled us back in- I don’t suggest this situation. Great work out for him but realistically I know it was emotionally hard on him)

10.  Fishing-

Plan A or B mainly. I can’t hold a fishing rode during C status, sometimes it’s hard in B. But I do enjoy fishing so sometimes it’s worth the consequences later just to wet a hook!

11.  Hunting –

Plan A and B – definitely not C or C status. I have left home under good B status and by the time we got to our stands I sat with him instead of by myself because I was so physically exhausted I didn’t want to be alone, especially in a tree. I do a lot of hunting with him nowadays and I do a lot on the ground for safety purposes as well as convenience. He doesn’t worry that I’m trying to get down by myself etc so he can enjoy his hunt as well.

Our favorite kind of hunting is on the ground and moving locations so this requires more energy and focus. Weather also has influence on stamina, energy, focus, and physical ability but it’s not a strenuous activity normally so I’m able to participate most of the time.

12.  Camping –

Plan A, B & I have done C but I mainly slept around the fire the entire trip under C status. Drove hubby crazy because he wanted to go on a hike or go hunting but he didn’t feel comfortable leaving me alone at camp.

This one is one of those toughies- so we might plan for a camping trip to ride ATVs and go for a hike in the swamp but the back up plan will be getting some grub and cooking it on the fire.

13.  Campfire and a meal –

Plan A, B & C. Again if I’m c status sometimes hubby will help but we definitely enjoy it even if I’m so exhausted I don’t really remember eating lol

14.  Dream building together –

We can do this as A, B and C. He will drive me down back roads and we’ll look at properties, we’ll look up house plans, stop in furniture stores, etc. just to talk about what we like and don’t like. I like furniture stores because I can sit and it’s not rude which helps with my pain, the downfall is trying to stay awake when I find a really comfy one to sit in lol. We also have created dream boards with pictures and bar graphs of our progress reaching goals big and small. (below is an example picture)

15.  Kitchen date –

Cook a meal together while dancing to the radio and save the clean up for tomorrow. Plan A and B. Dancing with my love in the kitchen and cooking together is worth the price I pay later! I’ve done this in C status and he had to hold me up, I fell asleep on his shoulder during a slow song.

But it’s a great date night plan and makes me feel almost normal to do a normal life activity with him in a happy and fun way. These kinds of date nights recharge me emotionally to deal with our situation. I think it helps him to because I will smile as big as I can through the pain, and it’s not fake one bit.

16.  Popcorn and a movie in bed/couch –

A B or C – I love everything about this one! Even if I’m not overdone and in desperate need of a slowdown, these nights sometimes are what keeps me rested enough to take on the next day or to sleep better that night. It’s a great time together and snuggle opportunity.

Snuggling can be difficult if my pain is high but typically because I’m not trying to sleep and my mind is distracted by the movie a little bit I’ll grin and bare it so we have our close time together.

17.  Wiffleball –

Plan A. Maybe Good feeling Plan B. Not really a C. and I don’t run bases, I walk unless I’m in A status or good B, then I’m going try to win and make the consequences worth it so I feel half way normal lol

18.  Tossing a football or softball –

Plan A and Plan B – I can’t do this as long as I used to. My shoulders and wrists don’t hold up even when I’m feeling good. But either way it’s a great way to chit chat while keeping the body in motion on a mindless activity as well.

19.  BOARD GAME night and music –

Plan A, B and for a really good laugh C. Definitely not strenuous, this is a good way to laugh and feel somewhat normal. If a good slow song comes on we’ll get up and dance (helps my blood flow for sitting too long) but otherwise we just chill out and enjoy the game while talking about random topics, our business, next week’s plans/goals, meals we want to try, etc.

20.  Bible trivia games –

Plan A and B. For a good laugh C. Come on, have you ever tried to pronounce some of those names when you’re slurring your words in exhaustion? Mainly A and B of course, but when I’m C status and being stubborn any sitting game is good.

21.  Long walk and grilling out –

A and B…no long walks in a C situation but maybe him grilling while I sit with him. Who doesn’t like some healthy grilled food??

So, there’s 21 examples of how we still stay active despite chronic illness that hopefully spring up some great ideas for you to enjoy with your friends and family or significant other while keeping a good gauge on your energy levels and symptoms in check or at least a good understanding of what juice is worth the squeeze ????

Chat soon & God bless!