From the perspective of being the co-worker with a chronic illness, there are sometimes some misunderstandings, miscommunication, and avoided topics from both sides in the workplace.

Chronic illness can be difficult to cope with. Trying to adjust to a new lifestyle personally and professionally can be stressful enough. Trying to adjust while managing the extensive list of possible symptoms one may be experiencing can be overwhelming. Listening, offering to help with work-load, or simply just being kind and quiet, but present, can be such a blessing to your co-worker!

Yes, of course! Privacy is a must and there are legal boundaries we should adhere to but that doesn’t mean we should avoid conversations or a situation entirely for the sake of ‘offending someone’ or ‘being offended’ ourselves.

Respect. That’s what it all boils down to regardless if there is chronic illness involved or not.

We’re all humans, we must live together, we must work together, and we must find ways to cope together…in all life situations.

As long as the approach is respectful and truly for the sake of helpfulness, I feel someone concerned in handling situations the proper way instead of assuming or avoiding is definitely a strong character trait that should be applauded.

So, below are some Do’s and Don’ts perspectives for those who work with someone that has chronic illness to take into consideration:

How to help your co-worker cope with their chronic illness:

Don’t – make them feel they should ‘just go on disability’ or ‘just stay home now’.

 A lot of chronic illness patients go through a time at some point of feeling useless, like a burden on others, and circling thoughts around the word “can’t” for how they describe themselves and their lives.

Don’t add to it, don’t harbor it, and don’t contribute to it. They are still valuable people, still able to do things (just maybe differently now), and still wonderfully created with purpose.

Do – ask if there’s anything that can be adjusted around the workplace that would give them relief. 

This is simple really.

Just a couple examples:

1. For a bank teller. They may benefit immensely from a thick cushion mat to stand on that reduces leg discomfort.

2. For a graphic designer. The ability to continue working during times of blurred vision because of an adjustment to an over-sized monitor.

Changing a desk chair or to a desk that adjusts for sitting and standing work may be just what someone with a chronic illness needs to be able to accommodate for their illness while continuing to work.

How to help your co-worker still feel normal and accepted with their chronic illness:

Don’t – avoid them or the issue.

Just so you know, we aren’t contagious or no longer able to socialize. We may want some time to ourselves to figure out how to adjust or cope but that doesn’t mean we want to be treated as if we have leprosy or it’s awkward to talk to us now.

Do – have normal conversations (just like before). Still talk about recipes, weekend events going on, the weather, sports, etc. within reason.

Obviously, if the condition now prevents playing football and that was the person’s weekend passion for fitness, maybe stray away from that particular topic, until they bring it up, and talk about other normal life conversations.

Understanding ‘special attention’ co-workers with chronic illness may receive:

Don’t – view kind gestures as just ‘special attention’ or get jealous of it.

For instance, someone newly adapting to a wheelchair may really appreciate a co-worker pouring their coffee or holding the door for them.

Realistically, people with good manners and respect for others, typically offer these acts of kindness but sometimes they’re not noticed or appreciated until the ‘situation calls for such gestures’.

Do – think about the fact that someone with a chronic illness must cope 24 hours a day 7 days a week with their symptoms or situation.

They don’t get vacations or weekends off. When you notice something is difficult, offer help or maybe a shift in responsibilities if reasonable.

For example, for someone with arthritis it may be difficult to open mail but sorting it or stamping the outgoing may be fine. So inquire on switching duties. You open, they sort. You seal, they stamp. 

How your co-worker can still contribute, even with a chronic illness:

Don’t – completely remove them or assume they can’t help with something. Especially when it appears they’re not a ‘benefit’ or ‘grand contribution’ to something anymore.

It may not be possible for them to run the fastest lap at the company health field day but that doesn’t mean they’re not knowledgeable, able, and willing to assist in the education workshops or handing out the water to the runners.

Do – ask if they would like to participate and try to give some options.

Walking behind the float for the Christmas parade may not be doable but helping decorate the float or ordering the decorations might be just fine.

Give them the chance to look at and evaluate what they may be able to do to stay involved and give a helping hand or make an impact.

Does my co-worker really have a chronic illness?:

Don’t – assume the chronic illness is fake if it can’t be visibly seen or maybe the symptoms and difficulties are a little different from day-to-day. 

Yes, unfortunately there are probably people who fake these things. (including the common cold so they can call in sick and go to the beach)

Eventually it will catch up to them and we shouldn’t be questioning our co-workers if they really had a cold last week or was at a concert anyway, so we shouldn’t with chronic illness either.

Let HR handle those who are found being fraudulent or misleading

For example, cancer and its effects aren’t always seen. Some people feel close to normal and even look fine between treatments or during some treatments while others have a harder time and the impacts are more visible.

Yet, very seldom are people questioned or talked about for the legitimacy of their condition and treatments.

Do – remember many illnesses are invisible, but it doesn’t make them less real.

Another example for someone who doesn’t have a chronic illness that you can relate to is to think about your drive to work. The route is typically the same but the experience is different daily and no one knows it except you unless you tell others.

Scenario One: On a normal-good day, you leave early, take your normal route, catch all the green lights, everyone uses their blinkers, everyone drives at a constant speed/flow and you arrive early.

Scenario Two: On a rough-bad day, you’re child is sick and you lose your car keys so you leave late, you’re re-routed due to construction or an accident, catch every red light, people kept cutting you off, you got stuck behind someone doing half the speed limit, and you arrive exceptionally late.

Out of the two scenarios, none of your co-workers, boss, customers, family or friends know which experience you had. Now you have the choice.

In Scenario One, it’s easy to share your positivity and helpfulness and joy with others because your emotions are already primed, but do you?

In Scenario Two, it’s easy to share negative, short-tempered, disgust with others and rant about your morning because your emotions are already primed here as well, but do you? 

You could, or you can suck it up and try your best to go through the rest of your day without being a negative impact or burden on others while finding at least some positive in your day. 

This helps prevent you from being miserable all day instead of dwelling on the morning drive and reliving every mile of it for the next 8 hours…much like someone with a chronic illness must choose to do about their symptoms and situation.

Again, remember we must live together, we must work together, and we must find ways to cope together…in all life situations. 

Be the co-worker, boss, or employee that supports and works alongside someone with chronic illness, as part of the solution instead of an opponent.

We are all created equally as important and beautiful in God’s eyes. It’s time we start seeing each other in the same light, regardless of chronic illness 🙂